Botanical Jokes for your entertainment

1) how do you remove irritating infestations of toadflax (Linaria genistifolia)?

  A: Find a wort remover

2) Why are floodplain soils so rich?

A: They are formed by bank deposits.

3) A Centaurea, a Centella and a Centunculus were walking down the street when they saw a Potamogeton. “Hey,” they cried—‘we’re going to drop by the bar for a drink. Want to come along?” “No, you go ahead, “ replied the Potamogeton, “ I don’t have a cent to my name.”

4) What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?

A: Nothing. He just let out a little wine.

5) Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?

A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

6) Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks?  A: The salad bar.

7) How can you tell which pondweeds are old time Detroit Tigers baseball fans?

A. They only grow in Al Kaline waters.

8) What the ERA of a pitcher plant (Sarracenia)?

9) What is lemonade?

A: When you help an old lemon cross the street.

10) On organic farms they till it like it is.

11) Why was the farmer arrested when he came home from harvesting rye, barley and oats?
A. Because the sheriff recognized that he was a cereal killer.


1) Don Les, Menziesia 11 (1):16  (2006)
2) Don Les. Menziesia 11 (2):16  (2006)
3) Don Les. 2007. Menziesia 11(4): 15.
5) Modified from
6) Modified from
7) Modified from Don Les Menziesia 11(4): 15 (2007) Al Kaline #6, Detroit 1953-1974, Hall of Fame right fielder.
8) Don Les Menziesia 11(3) (2006).
10) Pun of the day